Tuesday, January 06, 2004

FAA Practical Test

So the weather looks decent enough to fly tomorrow morning. Means I actually have to go through with this. I hate tests. I hate oral tests. I hate tests that demand absolute precision and an almost zero tolerance policy. Good thing thats not what I'm doing. Oh wait, yeah, actually that's exactly what I'm doing. It's like a driver's test if the examiner raped you in the ass with questions for 3 hours and then made you fly for 2 hours at a perfect 104 knots while at the same time quizzing you on what to do when you enter class B airspace while your engine is on fire and your radio is dead and you are helping some strange lady give birth and the baby is hitting you and trying to jump put the window and your eyes just fell out and your anus is bleeding and a wing fell off and one magneto switch is working, but the other is inoperative and you are exactly 135 degrees magnetic and 14 miles FROM a VORTAC station (not TO the station) and Mr. Hydes broke down again and you have to pick up bread on the way home and you have only $1.05 and bread costs $1.19, and if you fail all your future employers will see it and not give you the job because you are a total and complete failure in life.

NO PRESSURE

I CAN DO IT

AT 5 FUCKING AM

WITH 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AND NO FOOD

I MEAN ITS ONLY THE REST OF MY LIFE

AND I GET TO PAY $150 TO TRY