Thursday, May 15, 2003

What the bloody hell

Ok, if you haven’t seen the matrix yet, you deserve to have it ruined for you.  It sucked.  It didn’t suck in the “two guys a girl and a pizza place” way, but it was not the matrix we know and love.  Too much of the movie relied on stuff that happened in the animatrix, like why the kid is following Neo and what happened to the Osiris.  Agent Smith is back, for no other reason than to get one hundred of his asses kicked by Neo.  Did you notice Trinity’s mad hacking skills?  Apparently, to disable buildings you use secure shell with -root after it.  “ssh 10.2.2.2 -root” is what she typed, no passwords or anything.  Basically, the first 40 minutes of the movie was pointless.  We don’t really have to know everything about the docking procedures of Zion and don’t get me started on the “Dancing / Neo ass” that was pointless.  The only thing that accomplished was turning a PG-13 movie into an R one.  This movie had a lot of cool ideas, but was poorly executed.  Like, lets spend 30 minutes talking to this french guy.  What he said in twenty minutes could have been explained in two.  And his voice was so god damn annoying.  Arrrgh..  And what’s with the 3d matrix stuff all the time?  Did we really have to zoom into her crotch to know what was happening?  The Wakalski brothers are huge perverts, it seems.  The twins were cool, I liked them.  Where did Morpheus get the katana?  I wasn’t looking for it at the beginning, but it seemed to come out of nowhere.  And there was too much of this “hidden door” stuff.  It’s not a bad idea, but it shouldn’t have been used so much for such a brand new idea.  The fight scenes used too much CGI, and it seemed like every time they were in the matrix they got attacked.  What the hell was with the french guy’s wife?  Lets spend like 10 minutes talking about a stupid kiss.  Don’t worry, Trinity, did you forget she’s digital?  Oh well.  I enjoyed most of the fighting, and I’ll probably go see it again soon.